The Igbo people are one of the three largest ethnic groups in Nigeria, with a rich and diverse culture. One of the most important aspects of this culture is their marriage system, which reflects their rich heritage and values. The Igbo marriage system involves various stages and ceremonies that honor their traditions and values. In this blog post, we will explore the Igbo marriage system, its meaning, and its benefits for the couple and the society.
The stages of the Igbo marriage system
The Igbo marriage system consists of four main stages: the marriage inquiry, the consent from the extended family, the bride price negotiation and payment, and the wine-carrying ceremony. Each stage has its rituals and requirements that must be fulfilled before the marriage is recognized and celebrated.
See also: Top 8 Traditional Festivals In Igbo Land
The marriage inquiry (Iku Aka)
The marriage inquiry is the first stage of the Igbo traditional marriage system, where the groom and his father visit the bride’s family to express their interest and ask for her hand in marriage. During this stage, the groom’s family is introduced to the bride’s family for approval.
The process involves the groom’s father introducing himself and his son to the bride’s parents or guardian, and explaining the reason for their visit. Then, the bride’s family conducts a background check on the groom’s family to ensure their suitability and compatibility. Next, the bride is called out by her parents and asked if she knows and agrees to marry the groom. Finally, if the bride consents, the marriage inquiry is successful and the next stage can begin.
The Consent
After the marriage inquiry, the next stage of the Igbo traditional marriage system is consent from the extended family (Umunna). This stage involves the consultation and approval of the bride’s and groom’s relatives, such as their uncles, aunts, cousins, and elders. The purpose of this stage is to ensure that the marriage has the support and blessing of both families and clans.
The process begins with the groom’s family sending a delegation of representatives to the bride’s family to formally request their consent and to present gifts, such as kola nuts, palm wine, and tobacco. The bride’s family welcomes the groom’s delegation and invites them to a meeting with their extended family members.
There, the groom’s delegation introduces themselves and their son to the bride’s extended family and repeats their request for their consent and blessing. The bride’s extended family then deliberates and decides whether to accept or reject the groom’s request. If they accept, they give their consent and blessing and receive the gifts from the groom’s delegation. If they reject, they give their reasons and return the gifts to the groom’s delegation.
The bride price negotiation and payment (Ime ego)
The third stage of the Igbo traditional marriage system is the bride price negotiation and payment (Ime ego). This stage involves the discussion and agreement on the amount and items that the groom’s family will pay to the bride’s family as a token of appreciation and gratitude for giving their daughter in marriage.
The purpose of this stage is to establish and strengthen the bond and relationship between the two families and clans. The process starts with the groom’s family sending another delegation of representatives to the bride’s family to negotiate the bride price. The bride’s family then presents a list of items and amounts they expect from the groom’s family as the bride price. The list may include items such as goats, cows, chickens, bags of rice, clothes, jewelry, money, and other valuables.
The groom’s delegation reviews the list and either accepts or rejects it. If they accept, they agree to pay the bride price and proceed to the next stage. If they reject, they propose a counter-offer and try to reach a compromise with the bride’s family. The negotiation continues until both parties agree on the final bride price and sign a contract to seal the deal.
The wine-carrying ceremony (Igba Nkwu)
The final stage of the Igbo traditional marriage system is the wine-carrying ceremony (Igbankwu), which is the traditionalwedding reception party. This stage involves the official and public celebration of the marriage between the bride and the groom. The purpose of this stage is to announce and display the marriage to the community and to seek the approval and guidance of the ancestors and gods.
The process starts with the bride’s family preparing a feast and inviting the groom’s family and the community to their house or a designated venue. The bride’s family then brings the bride to the venue, dressed in a colorful wrapper and blouse, adorned with coral beads and jewelry. The groom on the other hand, is expected to present the bride price list and the required gifts to the Umunna before the ceremony begins, while accompanied by a larger party with his friends among them.
The bride is then handed a cup of palm wine and asked to find and identify her groom among the crowd of men after prayers for her marriage and future have been offered by her father. She walks around the venue along with her maidens, looking for her groom, while the guests cheer and tease her.
When the bride finds her groom, she kneels and offers him the cup of palm wine. The groom accepts the wine and drinks it, then lifts the bride. together, they both dance to meet the bride’s parents who then pronounce blessings on them. The guests applaud and congratulate the couple who now is presented to the community as husband and wife and they receive gifts and blessings from their families and guests.
The meaning of the Igbo marriage system
The Igbo marriage system is not just a legal or social contract between the bride and the groom, but also a spiritual and communal bond that connects them to their ancestors and their kin. The marriage system reflects the Igbo worldview, which values harmony, balance, and reciprocity among all living things. The marriage system also reinforces the Igbo identity, rooted in their language, history, and customs.
The Igbo marriage system is also a way of celebrating and preserving the Igbo culture, which has faced many challenges and threats from colonialism, slavery, and modernization. The marriage system showcases Igbo art, music, dance, attire, and cuisine, which are unique and diverse.
For instance, the bride wears a colorful wrapper and blouse, adorned with coral beads and jewelry, while the groom wears a traditional shirt and trousers, with traditional accessories to fit. The guests are entertained with live music and dance performances, featuring instruments such as the udu (pot drum), the ekwe (wooden slit drum), and the ogene (metal gong). The food and drinks are prepared with local ingredients and recipes, such as palm wine, kola nut, bitter leaf soup, and pounded yam.
The Igbo marriage system also educates and transmits the Igbo values, norms, and morals to the younger generations, who are the future custodians of the culture. The marriage system teaches the young ones about the importance of respect, honor, loyalty, honesty, generosity, and hospitality. The marriage system also instills in them a sense of pride, dignity, and belonging to their family, clan, and community.
The benefits of the Igbo marriage system
The Igbo marriage system has many benefits for the couple and the society. For the couple, the marriage system provides them with emotional, financial, and social support from their families and communities. The marriage system also strengthens their relationship and commitment, as they go through the various stages and ceremonies together. The marriage system also blesses them with fertility, prosperity, and happiness, as they seek the approval and guidance of their ancestors and gods.
For the society, the Igbo marriage system promotes social cohesion, solidarity, and peace among the Igbo people. The marriage system fosters mutual respect, cooperation, and exchange among the different families and clans involved in the marriage.
For instance, the bride’s family receives gifts and money from the groom’s family as a token of appreciation and gratitude, while the groom’s family receives a new member and a new ally from the bride’s family. The marriage system also enhances the social status and reputation of the families and communities that participate in the marriage. The marriage system also contributes to the social and economic development of the Igbo society, as it creates opportunities for trade, commerce, and networking.
Conclusion
The Igbo marriage system is more than a legal or social contract. It is a spiritual and communal bond that connects the couple to their ancestors and their kin. The marriage system reflects the Igbo worldview, which values harmony, balance, and reciprocity among all living things. The marriage system also reinforces the Igbo identity, rooted in their language, history, and customs.
The Igbo marriage system showcases and preserves the Igbo culture, which has faced many challenges and threats from colonialism, slavery, and modernization. It educates and transmits Igbo values, norms, and morals to the younger generations, who are the future custodians of the culture. The Igbo marriage system is a source of inspiration, learning, and appreciation for anyone who wants to understand and celebrate the diversity and richness of the Igbo culture and society.